I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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