people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
