So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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