I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
