So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
