3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
