I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
4 words: hood of his car
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize