I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
