When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
