we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
