We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
