you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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