i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
