i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
