Soap is not a condiment
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
