My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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