hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
