She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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