I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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