; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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