I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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