Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
