i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
how drunk are you?
Several
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
