I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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