I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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