oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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