Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
