i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
