There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
