Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
