she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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