you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
