Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
