Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
