God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
