I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
