I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize