it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
