Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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