I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize