why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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