you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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