Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
