he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
