so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
