i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My dick has a subreddit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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