so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
