So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
