Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
