I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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