All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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