I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
