If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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