shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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