oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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