i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
