I'm jealous of your bromance
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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