just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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