Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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