Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
