I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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