i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
